It’s a quiet day…

A little somber, I must say,

Even the sun didn’t want to come out and play.

For a cheer, I searched,

Deep down within,

But a tear, instead

I felt coming.

But, why do I feel this way?

Why do I let my blues, on the strings of my mind, play?

“Pray…” a gentle voice whispered,

“For in my presence, you will find joy.”

“Sing…” it repeated;

“For only my love can stir inside you, the sweetest song.”

“I’m your comfort and strength every day,”

“I AM with you always, verily I say.”

“For every second your heart beats,You will be reminded of my grace;”

“For every breath you take, my peace will fill your mind’s space.”

Opened my eyes and looked back out

A smile wiped my pout

Still, for a ray of sun

I anticipated

But, by the rain, outdone

The sun, for its turn, waited.

It’s raining still

But no longer in my soul

It’s raining still

I, again, felt whole.


Hello guys!

As promised, I am back to share with you all my visit back to Haiti after the earthquake.  I was there last January due to my sister’s wedding, and I must say, I didn’t know what to expect. Or maybe I just didn’t want to allow myself to have any expectations because with expectations sometimes, come disappointment. And seeing the conditions in which some people were still living in, 3 years after the earthquake, I was hurt and angry.

We__my mom, little sister and I__ left the cold winter of New York early in the morning. When we landed in Haiti, and the plane door opened letting the heat smack us in the face, I knew I was home.

We managed to get our bags and get through the overly crowded Baggage claim area, with the help of a friend who was waiting patiently for us to arrive. We also managed to get away from the 10 men who were cursing at us, because we refused their help.

Everyday we would go out, we would drive past so many vendors on the street. They sold all kinds of stuff: from fruits, vegetables, food, drinks to beautiful paintings and other handmade goodies. We would drive past students coming from school…some of them tired of walking under the blazing sun and unbearable dust. I watched all of their faces: there was despair and fear. But I also saw hope and resilience.

And there would be days when we would drive past beautiful colorful boutiques and restaurants, where you will find the elites of the Haitian society. Haiti, for as long as I can remember, always seemed like two different worlds to me. When I reminisce about the great times I had growing up in Haiti, I would think that this place was too good to be true. Yet, other aspects were too painful for me to even understand.

Fast forwarding to the wedding day, things went way better than I expect. That day will be one of the happiest days of my life. To be, once again, reunited with all of our family members and friends (both from Haiti and the States)  brought us the greatest joy that day. To watch my sister walk down the aisle to the man she loved was priceless to me. I’ve never seen her so happy, and that made me happy and teary-eyed.

The post-wedding days in Haiti were the best. Some of us considered our time there as an odd but mini-vacation and we made the best of it.

My sister decided to stay with her husband for a few months, and leaving her was bittersweet. Like I mentioned in a previous post, we’ve never been away from each other for such along time, so those few months without her have been empty and lonely. But, my heart is rejoicing again since she will be back soon by next month, and soon we will be working on getting my brother-in-law here too.

It was truly a great experience to re-visit Haiti. After all the Haitian people went through, they still lived faithfully, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day. Even though most of the time, tomorrow was not promised and would bring a source of tears, they still had hope.  Hope at least could bring them a source of immense joy__one that nothing could take away from them.

(Here are a few photos I captured there. I didn’t get a chance to put the pics in order (sorry 😦 ) but I’m sure you will still enjoy them!)

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And I have a few good reasons why I have been missing in action. Many are due to daily life engagements (work, getting my degree, new ministry), my sister post-wedding life (in Haiti!) and just plain ol’ laziness on my part every now and then.

On a more serious note though, I’ve missed blogging! And I’ve missed you all! I guess it’s a part of the blogging life. Sometimes you wake up full of ideas and aspirations and you just can’t stop writing and there are times you just wish you had just a tad bit of enthusiasm, or time, to write.

But what I love the most about blogging is the fact that, I can always come back to free my mind and count on you guys to be there to read, laugh and chill with me, or even drop me a ‘Miss you’ notes on my page (Thank you to everyone who checked up on me 🙂 ).

This is just a little post to say I’m alive and well by the grace of God and that I am back! Stay tuned for more posts about my stay in Haiti, my sister’s wedding, life without her (:-() and other randomness. Until then loves! 🙂

…a Happy Thanksgiving ! I thank God for you and for the tie we have through WordPress, also thanking Him for all the great things He has done for us, along with the hard times He has brought us through! Enjoy your day!

Jeremiah 29:11’s “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you…Plans to give you a hope and future”  played in my mind as I slept. In my subconscious, I told myself that I knew the verse. I recited it as my chant of hope whenever I felt like giving up. But, over and over it played, like a song stuck on repeat for some reason that was unknown to me. As if God wanted me to really get the meaning: that He had me. Safe and secured in His arms. That He was my shepherd and my provider.I may not have known the real reason why God woke me up with this beautiful verse this morning, but I knew He needed me to not let my faith fade away.

As I started to get ready for work, He again revealed to me all His promises to those who love and put their trust in Him through this one verse. This verse found me in my most discouraging moments and picked me up. This verse strengthened my faith every day. This verse put a wide smile on my face as I awakened from my sleep this morning, and it kept me happy and content the whole day. This verse gave me a renewed hope, brand new aspirations and the urge to tell the whole world about the unconditional and unfailing love of God.

There are a few things in life that I particularly don’t find fascinating nor cool. Some of them make me frown, but most just make me shake my head in disbelief. This list will ever grow as long as I live, but for now, here are a few things that I find uncool…in no particular order.

Smoking kills!

1. Smoking.  Unless you don’t love yourself, I don’t understand why you should smoke yourself to death everyday. Same goes for drinking and drug abuse.




2. Children disrespecting their parents in public. Although I believe disrespecting your parents anywhere is plainly not right, but doing it in public, is just scandalous.




Now THIS would've been cool. But that's just not the case :-/

3. Dog poo. If you don’t like the idea of picking up your dog’s poop, you don’t deserve to have one! That’s just my theory.





4. The price of snacks at movie theaters. I don’t know where to begin when it comes to this matter; should it be the part where they are ripping us off, the part where they don’t accept outside food/snacks OR the part where, despite the fact that they’re so expensive we still buy them anyway? I don’t know.





5. Male bashing. Bitter and weak women tend to do that and I don’t think it’s cool. I know there are some really shady men out there, but not all men are the same. Same goes for Female Bashing.





6. Farting in close spaces. Places like the elevator, the train or the van may seem like the ideal place to release yourself due to the fact that they are 99.9% of the time crowded so no one will really know who did such crime, but please, unless you have a clean colon, relieve yourself somewhere else. Farts can actually cause asthma attacks. (It may not be scientifically true, but I believe it’s a potential hazard for asthmatic people…like myself).





I'll need to get one of those soon...Anti-theft umbrellas

7. Stealing someone’s umbrella. In the words of my crazy cousin: “I often pray  for people who steal other people’s umbrellas. That one day the same thing would happen to them and that they would see the light.” I wouldn’t quite put it that way, but, yeah…it’s not cool.





8. Wanting to shake MY hand with the SAME hand I saw YOU wipe your pharyngeal discharge with. HUGE uncool on my list.





Stop Fooling around! Make a difference!

9. April fooling. Since people have been taking this April Fool’s day thing into a whole other level, I just think it has lost its zest and it’s no longer considered cool in my book. It’s not that I’ve lost my sense of humor but there are far better things to do (like raise awareness for Autism) on that day.




10. Stereotyping. There is nothing worse than putting an etiquette on a certain culture, race and people. Ignorance is bliss…it’s time to wake up people!

That is all for now folks! 😉

Breaking Bad

I have a very bad habit. And that’s cancelling plans. I usually have some valid reasons, but sometimes I just don’t. My decision to cancel sometimes depends on how I feel that day. Once I’m not in a good mood, I would just cancel. It may seem like a selfish move but it really is not. It’s more like an equation in my head: If I’m not in a good mood, I will draw so much negative energy therefore I will ruin it all for everyone.” So instead of going and being a party popper, I stay home and try to re-mediate myself.

Then there are the times when I do have reasons to cancel. Like I mentioned many times in several of my posts here, I engage in a lot of activities in my church or for my church. Some of them I don’t recall ever affirming that I wanted to be part of, but somehow I’m all up in them. So what happens now is that, everyone__from my pastor to all the presidents of the different departments of the church__ counts on me. Why, you ask? In the words of my blunt boyfriend “Because you don’t know how to say no!”. Not that this is entirely true, but sometimes, I just can’t bear to say no when it comes to doing something for the people at my church. My mother raised me to always be of service for the church anytime that I can. And I’ve always kept that with me. Now it’s making and breaking me at the same time.

There have been times when I had to cancel girls’ outings, birthday parties, bridal/baby showers  just because I had to be at practice or because I had to wake up early for Sunday service the next day. I have broken a lot of my friends’ heart by doing that, and now some either don’t invite me anymore or are skeptical when I RSVP. I hate the fact that, even when I use the proper etiquette of bailing, it still hurts the other person. I then get mad at myself for not handling the situation the right way, especially after I gave my word to be there.

Well, last week was different. I didn’t wake up with a certain state of mind to be bold in the decision I made, but it sure gave me the balls to stand up for myself.  One of my girlfriends came in town to celebrate her birthday: 4-day weekend type of celebration that is. And I knew about her coming since July. And of course, like all the other times, I told her I would be there.

“Are you sure?” I remembered her asking. She sounded unconvinced.

“I promise, I’ll be there.”

Knowing me with my cancelling habit, she was super excited and took (rather, held onto) my word for it. So the plan was for us to meet Thursday night for dinner.  I was excited, that, for once out of  the many times  I’ve cancelled on friends and family, I was finally keeping my word. Only to realize that it wasn’t going to be for long.

Last Sunday was Young Adult day at the church. This is when all the young adults of the church do everything in the services: from ushering to directing and preaching. So guess who was picked to direct THAT Sunday out of every single suitable young person? You guessed right. Me. Now I had a dilemma. If I was to direct, I would need to attend praise team rehearsal which would be that same Thursday of my friend’s birthday dinner. And that night would be the only night she would be in NY, the only night I would be able to see her since she made plans to be in Massachusetts the rest of the week-end. I can’t begin to explain the crowd of thoughts that kept racing through my mind. I wanted to tell my pastor that I wouldn’t be able to direct, if it meant for me to be present at rehearsal. But I didn’t want to let him down. So I said nothing, and concluded that the best thing would be for me to cancel…on my friend.

Too ashamed to call, I sent her a Facebook message, first asking her when she would be leaving NY, because I ‘probably’ wouldn’t be able to make it on Thursday because of rehearsal.

“You always have something going on. I’m disappointed. I’m not going to hide it. But it’s ok. I understand.” was her reply. My fingers  itched to type back “No! you don’t understand! And that wasn’t my question!” but I had to face the truth. And whenever I face the truth, I’d throw a fit then finally, I’d give in. I explained the whole dilemma to my older sister, hoping to get her to sympathize with me, but instead she told me: “So you have so much responsibilities…whose fault is it? There are other people in the church who are  well-able to do all that you do. You just make yourself too available. That’s your problem. Be unavailable for once.”

So I picked up my cell and called the praise team director. I told him I would not be able to come to rehearsal and sent him a list of what needed to be done. He tried talking me out of it, telling me that I needed to be there and such, but I resisted. I knew I needed to be there, but God knows that I’ve always been there, rain or shine, sleet or snow. For once, I had to decline.

So I went to the dinner. My friend was so happy to see me. She hugged me for what seemed to be a very long second and whispered: “Thank you…”. I hugged her back and smiled. That made the rest of my weekend :-).

Then Sunday came, I directed. And the service went marvelously :-).

I’m glad I’m slowly breaking this bad habit.

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